pINKy the Game 1.4

Do not download this app!

Are you satisfied with the current state of your device? Do you value its intactness? Then it is in your best interest to refrain from downloading this app. It can be incredibly frustrating.

By round 3, you may find yourself throwing your device against a wall, resulting in its destruction. (Please note that pINKy the game does not accept responsibility for any damaged phones caused by tossing out of frustration.)

If you cherish your current lifestyle filled with joy, laughter, and contentment, I implore you to steer clear of this app. It has a way of draining all enjoyment from your existence and can easily lead to addiction. Once in its grip, you will struggle to put your device down.

Consider yourself forewarned.

At first glance, this app may appear deceptively simple. Just take a peek at the screenshots - all you have to do is guide your ink propulsion octopus without touching the walls. How difficult can it be? Well... let me tell you, it can be as challenging as the music produced by Will.I.Am.

If you choose to walk away now, you will continue living blissfully, never experiencing the agony of being unable to surpass your high score for days on end. If you choose to indulge in the pINK pill, your frustration will persist, and I can assure you that shattered phones will become an unfortunate reality. (Because you will undoubtedly hurl your device against a wall in anger over your inability to achieve more than a measly "5" score.)

• pINKy does not assume responsibility for any classroom detentions resulting from uncontrollable screaming at one's device due to frustration.
• pINKy cannot be held accountable for any sleep deprivation caused by an inability to put down the addictive game.
• pINKy proudly sponsors NoShave-November.
• Knock knock? Who's there? It doesn't matter because you'll be too engrossed in playing pINKy to answer the door.
• In reality, octopuses do not release pink ink. If you write this down on a biology test, pINKy cannot be held responsible for your failing grade, subsequent shame, and eventual descent into becoming a three-toed hobo surviving on dumpster food.
• If you do find yourself as a dumpster-diving hobo with three toes, we have a tip: discarded pizza works as a versatile wildcard. Regardless of the mismatched food remnants piled on top, it magically transforms into a single unified "topping".
• What is a sleeping pizza called? A PiZZZa.
• Heed this warning and refrain from downloading this game! Mwahaha!